Recently, I've had a couple of friends, including myself, going through some challenges. Every time we meet each other, I noticed there is a tendency to tell whoever narrating her ordeal "I feel your pain." I recently uttered these words to a friend and right after I did, I felt this really weird thought run through my mind. I asked myself: Do I really feel her pain? Yes I do, I tried to convince myself. After all, I've been through a similar ordeal and I didn't die. I definitely feel her pain. Right?
I have this friend of mine who is quite well established. I noticed that every time someone or even myself told her about something they were going through, she would always make it sound like your problem is not that bad or you are blowing it out of proportion because "she feels your pain" from her past struggle. She will sympathize with you though; very sweet girl. Not too long ago, I was hanging out with her and some other friend, when she started talking about some pain she gets in her body. We suffer the same ordeal so I understood how painful it was. However, our other friend who said she goes through the same pain said that my friend was exaggerating on how painful it is because she puts up with it very well. My friend got very angry to the point of crying, saying our other friend was being very insensitive to state a thing like that because that ordeal is very painful and she definitely isn't exaggerating. Wow!!I was quite surprised at her reaction because I always thought she was a super woman. She "feels" everybody's pain and its never that bad.
This brings us back to the issue. Do we really "feel" other people's pain? I don't think so. You can only imagine, not feel. Two people may wear the exact same shoe that hurt the feet of one but not the other. Even though these people wore the same shoes, they definitely didn't feel each other's pain. Never assume you feel another's pain simply because you have walked in their shoe. Unless your nerves are connected to the nerves in their feet, you still do not understand what they go through. Think twice before you pass judgment on a person's struggle. You never feel it. You only imagine it.
